By Ehaghalo Osaiyuwu
osaie@mail.broward.edu
Rose found herself using one word a lot more since she came to the city: Different. Where she lived was different, who she spoke to was different, and at what time she did things was different. In fact, she seemed to spend more time indoors these days. Not necessarily due to fear—although fear was definitely a factor—but rather due to uncertainty. Was it right for her to take up space among others? Who was she supposed to ask for permission from? Until these questions were answered, only venturing out for school and shutting herself away the rest of the time was good enough for her.
She knew it concerned Camellia. She didn’t mean to, but what else was there to do? At least this newfound confinement gave her a chance to observe the things around her, a hobby that became one of her favorite pastimes. The birds outside the living room window loved to chirp from 6 am to 7 am. Any other time, though, they were so silent that Rose forgot they were there. A flyer for a new bakery opening across the street flew under the door one day. She could see the building happening through the kitchen window. They had to delay it, though, probably due to the broken sign. A couple that had just moved in together went through a messy break-up, too. She could hear them through the walls.
Rose was quite proud of her findings. She wished others were as interested in them as she was. Instead, they asked every question she couldn’t answer, “What do you want to study? Any major ideas? Any dream jobs?”. She always brushed them off with an “I don’t know yet”, but still, these questions piled up. She thought of asking Camellia what to do. After all, her cousin seemed to have her life on track. However, Camellia looked so exhausted most days, and it didn’t feel right. Plus, the two were still a bit distant, asking such an important question after being unable to do so much as ask about the weather felt weird.
Alongside her new hobby, Rose still kept up with one of her old ones: Drawing. It was a major comfort for her in the past and still was now. She would take pictures on her way to class and use them as reference photos to draw in her sketchbook. There was no one to show them to, but she didn’t really mind. Not to say she hated people seeing her drawings—it just didn’t happen that often. The last time she showed off a piece of hers was in a middle school competition, a strange happiness from it bubbled in her still. She carried it around with her to this very day, now residing in one of the suitcases she brought with her.
The only real companionship Rose got most days was from that book Camellia gifted her. It was cheesy but better than nothing. A bunch of self-help quotes took up her time: “Doing your best means never stop trying.”—Benjamin Franklin, “Being willing is not enough. We must do…”—Leonardo Da Vinci’, “Do what you can, with what you have and do it now!”—George Washington Carver. She sometimes wondered if these quotes were even real, but that didn’t really matter. She enjoyed the observing, the drawing, the reading, but…they didn’t keep her occupied for long. A deep sigh left her chest as she placed the book down. She had a class soon and needed to get going.
It was a fairly short walk to the campus, during which Rose would look around and take her usual pictures of things she saw. Her phone camera slowly passed random items: a lamp post, a tree, a poster. The last thing caught Rose’s attention. It must have been new since she couldn’t remember seeing it before. Advertising in bubbly letters a small art competition with an art deco theme. Rose’s eyes shone like the brightest light bulbs at the idea. A place where she could dispel this idleness that had befallen her! She quickly captured the poster in a picture and ran off to class. Anyone who knew her usual demeanor would wonder what had gotten into her.
Not too far from this hopeful scene lies Camellia, looking once again through a window for entertainment. Unlike the stained glass that once performed scenes for her, this plain window just shows her the harsh realities of the world. The professor lectured on and on about getting assignments done on time, but Camellia couldn’t bring herself to even pretend to listen. She couldn’t have left the class any faster.
A wash of relief overcame her as she stepped outside; a wash of rain did, too. Too focused on something she would soon forget, Camellia failed to notice the woman she was about to bump into.
“AH! I’m sorry I-” Ready to start her song and dance of apologizing, Camellia was stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the woman’s face.
“Oh. Camellia. I haven’t seen you in a while.” A lady with medium length brown hair and matching eyes looked back at her, seemingly uncomfortable talking to her.
“Iris, yeah it’s been a while.” Camellia said, wishing to be anywhere else but here.
What felt like an eternity of unsure silence finally came to an end when Iris spoke again.
“Yeah…well I better get going…see you around.” Iris said in a desperate attempt to end the interaction.
As soon as she was out of sight, Camellia dropped her head in frustration. She not only had a miserable day, but she had also seen a ghost. She tried to make her way home quickly, as the rain was starting to pick up. But as if today was trying to get worse, a flyer flew straight into her face. Camellia tried to shred the damned thing into pieces, but apparently even this small battle would best her today. Exhausted and unwilling to use what little energy she had left, she gripped the flyer and went on her way.
The creaking of the front door was the signal that let her know the day’s trials were over. Camellia threw the flyer on the table and slumped down on a chair. She tried to calm herself and prepare to get ready for bed when she was shocked back up by the slamming of a door. It was Rose, looking much more excited than usual, rushing towards her.
“Camellia, you’re back!” She exclaimed, which was a bit strange but welcomed. “You’ll never believe what I found today!” She continued, barely able to contain herself.
“Really? What is it?” Camellia replied, trying her best to sound lively.
“Our college is having an art competition, and I knew I had to—no, I thought I could join!” Rose explained, starting to realize how her previously reserved attitude strangely contrasted with her behavior now.
“That’s great, Rose,” Camellia answered, just happy that her cousin was starting to put herself out there more.
After that short but expressive conversation, Rose rushed off to start planning her piece. Camellia thought it was good that at least one of them had a good day. She gathered herself and started heading for her room when she noticed the flyer again. It was an announcement of a casting call for a local small production. Camellia felt her heart sink a little as she let out a weak chuckle.
“I wish.” She said, putting the flyer back down before her feelings could get the better of her.